Okay so here I'm finding myself unable to sleep, wide awake and thinking about a million things. I've talked about some of these things with Eric, well pretty much all of them. With some he has pursuaded me to change my mind from my orignal idea/thought to what I will list. Just a list of how I want things to be. Please don't take offense and if you have ideas or suggestions they are welcome. I just need to have some control over how things are going to be before, during and after the baby arrives. We had no control last time with how things happened so maybe I'm being a little crazy this time but I have every right to be. That Eric agrees with!
1. It is a given that I want this baby to be healthy so please don't be offended if I say something along the lines of wanting the baby to be born alive. It urks me to no end when someone says in regards to this baby and being born healthy, especially when they know about Ryleigh. Of course I want this baby to be healthy but Ryleigh was healthy too! She just wasn't born alive! Eric said saying "alive" sounds morbid but it's just the honest truth and when I explained to him what I meant he said it made sense. Healthy is a given. No parent is going to wish otherwise.
2. Whisper, MUST sleep in her own bed when we are at the hospital. Having this baby invading her life and turning it upside down is more than enough for her to deal with. Plus I've read horror stories of the older sibling staying away from home and then never wanting to go where they stayed while mommy and daddy were away. We figure since both sets of grandparents will be nearby that someone will be able to stay here at the house with Whisper.
3. We are going to need our own special time once the baby arrives. I've agreed with Eric that if people want to hang out at the hospital that is fine but we will be taking time just the 3 of us and when we are ready then people will be allowed in.
4. We'd really like Whisper to be the first to meet the new baby and have some time as the 4 of us. That is if she is even allowed on the maternity ward. I know right now they have rules against children under a certain age being on the maternity ward and ICU. Hopefully by July they won't be so strict or can make exceptions. So obviously someone will have to bring her in. As much as Kerry would like to be here she has jury duty in July so dunno that she is an option so maybe Auntie Amy. Just briefly to bring Whisper in. Otherwise it will have to be all of the grandparents and Whisper. Dunno who all will be hanging out besides grandparents but I personally have no desire for the whole world to crowd on in. Also, maybe I'm being crazy but in the case baby arrives via C-section I sure as hell hope I get to see baby before everyone else does. Read a woman's experience of everyone else seeing the baby and even holding the baby while she was in recovery. That's not cool. I'm fine with Eric sharing info but a woman should never be the last one to meet her new baby!
5. Family is more than welcome to be at the house and help out but visitors family or otherwise need to not show up unannounced. Also, since I will be attempting breastfeeding please don't be offended if you are asked to leave when baby wants to eat. I probably won't be able to physically haul my butt upstairs to the bedroom every time it's feeding time. So most likely the couch will be where I sit.
I will not have success at breastfeeding if others other than Eric and Whisper are in the room. I don't like an audience under any circumstances. Some people say once you've given birth once you really don't care but I do care! I won't be the woman who's story is in the birthing class video we have. The teacher went to see how one of her students was after having just given birth. She walks in to see an older gentleman that she knows isn't the father sitting in a corner looking terrified. The new mom is sitting on the bed in only her thong underwear, crosslegged and topless breastfeeding her baby!
6. I know some people may be against any type of baby shower or celebration for us and the baby but I really want one and want pictures and happy memories for the baby book. I know it's also probably against ettiquette to say what you do and don't want but there are so many dessert options there is no need for the nasty traditional cake with nasty sweet frosting. Nor is there need for the traditional games. Since it will be summer time I think some sort of BBQ or picnic type thing with an affordable main option and salads and desserts(ie. pies, icecream) would be fun. Of course I know the food for X number of people can get spendy and I'd rather have help with what we might need for baby so this is all just an idea but I'm sure we could come up with something affordable to do some time in late July/early August. This baby deserves to be celebrated and welcomed in to the family.
7. Please if there's a possibility of the child's name eliciting a nickname do not under any circumstances start calling the child by the nickname unless we do. Our top boy name elicits something I find quite rude and when we've mentioned the name in the past at least one family member has made fun of the name. I know it's something that will be said by stupid kids at school but pretty much with any name kids are going to come up with something. Family shouldn't be the one being rude with nicknames.
8. Please for the love of God blankets are awesome and so are stuffed animals but if another one comes in to this house as a gift I will regift it right back to you! We have so many and we won't need blankets in July and when the time comes to use blankets we have plenty and plan on using the ones that we especially made for Ryleigh. As for stuffed animals since we bought one special for Whisper when she came in to our home this baby will get one special one either from our personal collection or from the store if we can find one. Have looked but haven't found the right one. Also, there are a lot of items that we do have that we can reuse. What I think we may need the most of are cloths. Even if the baby is a girl all of Whisper's newborn stuff is winter time stuff. I know there are some items that will work but not everything. If you aren't sure what we might need do please ask. Even we aren't for sure since we need to go through what we have and see what will and what won't work. It will be some time until we do that because I mentioned wanting to find the gift basket of gender neutral stuff from Debbie, Kim and the girls and Eric said nothing was coming out until after the baby is born. He seriously meant nothing. Not even the bassinet!
9. At this point my WISH is for the baby to come some time after July 4th but before July 12th. Hoping for a planned induction and I've read a million and one opinions on going that route but after what we have been through and people's personal stories of loss I do not desire to go in to labor at home. I want it planned out and to be monitored from beginning to end. The doctor did mention doing it around 37 weeks but then we would have to consult with a second doctor to deem it medically necessary. I'm hoping the extra monitoring I will be having starting in another 9 to 11 weeks will keep me from losing my mind as we approach the week in which we lost Ryleigh. Making it to 39 weeks without going crazy is my goal.
10. Ummm, gonna leave it at this for now. I will either come back and add or add in other posts as things come up.
