Monday, December 14, 2009

10 week appointment

My appointment went well today. Though it appears, according to the doctor and how long it took with the doppler, that this baby is going to be stubborn one. Just as the doctor was saying that it looked like the baby would be hiding a bit longer he heard a flicker of a heartbeat so he kept trying and heard it again but again just a little flicker. Kept trying and trying and then finally the baby must have stayed in one place long enough because we heard it. BPM was at 173 so doc is still saying it's a girl. So all looks well and I will be going back in 4 weeks.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Today's Visit

My doctor's visit went well today other than my almost 2-year-old princess being a total twerp! She just couldn't sit still. The doctor says everything and baby looks good. Couldn't hear the heart on the doppler but did see the fetal heart tones on the ultrasound machine and it showed the baby's heart beat at 171bpm. We discussed the extra monitoring that I will receive starting around the 26th to 28th week of pregnancy. Twice weekly visits and tests plus they are going to look in to whether my insurance will cover at an at home monitoring system. The doctor also briefly touched on early delivery but I think if all is going well with the extra tests we should be fine. Otherwise we have to have an amnio and any delivery before 39 weeks a second doctor at the practice has to consult to deem it medically necessary. We certainly will be on pins and needles after my 36 week visit but hopefully with the frequency of my visits everything should be fine. Well I have another visit in 2 weeks but probably not much to tell then. Get my Pap done and hopefully hear the heartbeat on the doppler. If not I pray they bring in the ultrasound machine. My insurance will cover it so how often that is done should not matter. I cannot remember for the life of me how early we heard Ryleigh on the doppler.
Anyhow, I am going to sign off for the night.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Thank you!

I love hearing this word out of my baby girl's mouth! She is saying it so much more lately and at appropriate times. It's a joy to watch her learn and grow! One thing I do have to say is she's growing up way too fast! She will be two on the 7th and it seems like just yesterday we were going to the hospital to pick her up when she was 5 days old.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Appointment info and a bit of a vent on other subject

So my appointment was short and sweet with the nurse. The bloodwork at the blood place sucked though. I made sure this time to go home after my appointment to eat and have some water. Still didn't seem to help. I had to be poked 3 different times by 2 different people before they were able to get blood. Anyhow, tentative due date is June 26, 2010 but that is based off my last period with ovulation around day 14. I ovulated later around day 28 according to my temp charts.
Anyhow, on to my vent. Just found out today from our adoption SW that my ex-employer has been payed by the state for my then foster daughter's child care as well as any other children that were in state care. Payment was suspended due to the abrupt closing of the center. They've actually over payed her by 1 month and now are having difficulties getting it back because her one contact number is disconnected. I tried all the numbers I had and they are all disconnected! I did find an email address and have contacted an old employee that I know still has contact with her to see if she can be of any help. The woman owe's me my final paycheck and I know she's probably taken the money and run with it! Merry Christmas to her 3 spoiled brats and hubby and screw the rest of us that worked hard for the money! I've already filed with L&I but it looks like this may have to go to small claims court! I really don't want to do that!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Ryleigh Elizabeth Hope 3~17~2009

So here is Ryleigh's story as promised. I didn't feel like typing it out again so I copied and pasted it from my initial writing that I put on my Myspace page and babycenter.
On the morning of Monday March 16, 2009 I wasn’t feeling our baby girl moving. I called Eric to come home from work and called the clinic to let them know I was coming in. We saw the nurse practitioner and then my doctor. The nightmare began when we were told our baby girl no longer had a heartbeat. Our precious miracle baby was gone and our lives forever changed. She was fine just a week previous so even now it’s hard to believe how in that bit of time something could have gone wrong with absolutely no warning. We are angry and sad at the loss of our precious miracle. We say miracle because it took us forever and a day to conceive after having suffered an early miscarriage with our first pregnancy in September 2006. Once we started trying again it took us a little over a year and a half to conceive Ryleigh.
On March 17th, 2009 our precious and beautiful baby girl entered this world perfectly sound asleep. Her name was Ryleigh Elizabeth Hope. She never made a sound, never opened her eyes and never took a breath of air from this Earth. Instead she fell asleep in her mama’s womb and awoke in the arms of Angels. She will be forever remembered by all that loved her. Everyone will miss our precious angel~ Mommy, Daddy, Big Sister Whisper, Grandma Lu, Grandpa Mike, Grandma Linda, Grandpa Robert, Uncle’s Chris, Casey, Todd and Justin, Aunties Amy, Julie and Kerry, cousin Breanna, and so many more. You were loved by a whole village of people!

Here are some thoughts and words written by Eric followed by a letter he wrote from us to Ryleigh. We included the letter in with some special items we gave her during our private moment with her at the funeral home the day before her burial service:

You are our Jellybean. That's what daddy called you when you were starting to develop inside mommy. We knew we loved you before we even saw you. After your first pictures we loved you even more. On the night you were born, your mother did a wonderful job bringing you into the world so we could meet you. When you were placed on mommy's chest our hearts swelled with love, and our tears were as much from love as they were from s0rrow. We knew we would do anything to take care of you and make sure you would be honored with everything we did for you.


Ryleigh,You are our Jellybean.We have always loved you, even from the beginning.We will always love you and remember you.We send this love with you into Heaven.Even your big sister Whisper sends her love with you.Our love will guide you in Heaven.And when we are ready, our souls will join you.Until then we will be strong, do not worry about us Ryleigh.Our love for you will make us stronger.We will miss you, but you will be in our thoughtsand prayers forever.All of our loveMommy and Daddy.

We probably will never know for sure what went wrong. We are having all testing done and some results have come back but it will never be enough. Nothing can bring our baby girl back and right now that is all that we want. At my 2 week visit, April 1st 2009, after giving birth to our angel we did get answers on what has been ruled out. They were able to tell us there were no viruses, nothing wrong with me and that Ryleigh was perfect in every way, therefore, there is no reason to do genetic testing on Eric nor myself. As comforting as that should be it isn’t. All this information is helpful for future pregnancies, if and when we decide to try again. It cannot change what has already happened. Our life as we knew it is forever changed. We will never be the same and finding a new “normal” seems far out of reach. My doctor had told us the day before Ryleigh was born that he was pretty sure it would be a cord related accident. When she was born the cord was loosely wrapped around her neck once so it’s not a definite answer as to whether that was the cause or not but my doctor said it was possible that during the birthing process and him helping get her out, she was breech, that he may have loosened the cord. Part of the autopsy results showed that she had a slightly elevated red blood cell count, which he said is indicative of a cord accident. That is all the information they have for us now and after doing some research I don’t suspect they will have any more answers for us. In about 50% of all cases a definite cause is not found.
If and when we decide to try again we will all be on pins and needles…..the doctor’s words exactly. Right now I cannot say those are the correct words. Whether we try now or later it’s going to be a stress filled 36 to 40 weeks with little to no sleep I‘m sure. A time we should be able to enjoy and will try to with every ounce of our being but I think any future pregnancies, even one after a good outcome, will be anxiety filled at best. My doctor has promised that there will be very close monitoring starting sometime between week 26 and week 28, when he said there is a great enough connection between the fetal heart rate and brain. Something like that………….my visit honestly was somewhat of a blur. I was listening but not all there.
I will be doing religious kick counts at home and going in at least twice a week for various stress tests, extra ultrasounds, etc. My doctor said I will be sick of seeing everyone. We don’t care as long as we have a happy outcome. I will live at the clinic or hospital if that is what it takes!

Positive HPT!

So I didn't get a chance to come back on here yesterday and post this. Yesterday morning after begging and pleading from gals in my charting group on Babycenter I took a home pregnancy test. We are pregnant and I have my first apppointment next Tuesday. We are happy but also overwhealmed and scared after losing Ryleigh between week 36 and week 37 back in March. I will share more of that in another blog. I think Ryleigh's story should be a blog in itself.
So everyone please keep us in your prayers for a happy and healthy outcome with a screaming happy baby!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Finally here!

Well, I've been thinking of doing a blog for awhile and it was quite a pain in my ass to set this up. Since this is all somehow associated with Google and Gmail I've royally screwed up my husband's gmail account. It kept tell me to resest a password and then when I caved in and it took me to account information I saw that it was my husband's account. I've done my best attempt at contacting the help people but even that didn't work so well! I'm cursing as I type this! In the end it let me log in and create this account without needing the password from my husband's dunno why it was giving me such trouble in the first place! So I thought i'd set this up for random vents, sharing what's going on in life and with our family, recipes, etc.